Most of you know that I just broke up with someone. The relationship nearly bankrupted me emotionally. I didn't know my head from my elbow by the time I got out and it took me a LOOOOONG time to finally walk away! I thought I needed it or worse yet I thought that I could FIX him. I drug it out long past the "sell-by" date because I so desperately wanted to remain an 'option' for him. Folks, if you are ever asking yourself "what is wrong with me? Why am I acting this way? This is not who I am." RUN---You are drowning in a pool of toxicity.
Mr. Unavailable & The Fallback Girl was a script of our relationship. Seriously I started to check the cover for my ex's name cause some of the words there in print came straight out of his mouth. The lies, broken promises, feelings and emotional warfare that I fell for are all in this book. The hardest part has been taking the man that I gave my heart to down off the pedestal. Truth is, he's just not that great. The person he truly is doesn't resemble the Prince Charming I fell in love with and never will again. I am soooo grateful it didn't work out. Thank God for unanswered prayers.
The book talks about the signs, the symptoms and the patterns that these men (and women) follow and then there is us: puppy dogs that are so excited for the attention, that we follow them to the ends of the earth, only to realize that this is all a game to them. One they have played before and one they will play a million more times. They play on our weaknesses, ones you didn't even know that you had. Before long you are selling your soul to the devil to get his attention and a reaction. YIKES!
Anyways--I am doing really good now. We are in Oregon and settling in. :) I am enjoying my family and learning who I am again.
PS...sorry for you faithful readers this is a re-post. After re-reading my last few posts I decided I just cant leave them up (they're being deleted). Yeah I got burned in this relationship, but it didn't kill me and it only slowed me down for a bit. It was awful and horrible and I could shout a million obscenities, but for what? Yeah--not worth it. So this is the last you'll hear of D from me. To those of you who held my hand through the divorce and then through this roller coaster, thank you. Thank you for not choking me when I know you wanted to!