Jun 1, 2016

2016 Reading Challenge

Can you believe it we are seriously almost half way through this year??  OMISTARS 2016 is goin CrAzY!!!!  Have you been doing your reading???  I have so dang many books in the process that I don't know which end is up.  I love to read though.  



As recommended by a friend, I just finished The Drawing of Three, the 2nd book in Stephen King's The Dark Tower Series.  I was finally able to get through this when I downloaded it as an audio.  I gotta admit reading the actual book was soooo hard, the first book was even more difficult.   I was able to really get interested in the characters in this second book and I truly love who they are becoming but I am not sure if I will go on to read the rest of the books in the series or not.   Maybe some day I will pick them up again...for now though --I think I will let this one rest.


I have been reading My Journey With Maya, by Tavis Smiley.  Maya Angelou has to be one of the most beautiful people to ever existed in my personal opinion.  I absolutely adore her outlook on life.  Every single encounter that you read of is nothing more than beautiful and awe striking.  There are so many things in my life that I am not proud of.  I have done and said some horrible things to people.  Some I regret, some not so much.  However as I grow, I try desperately to show love.  To encourage others to believe in themselves and to be the very best that they can be. One of her quotes that I just adore is Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.  I absolutely LOVE this.  We ALL have battles that we are fighting.  We ALL have things that we are going through.  Maybe our smile or our "Good Job" can make all the difference in the world to someone else.  Rainbows and Clouds are always going to be a part of life.  Wouldn't it be great if we were all a little more rainbowy rather than cloudy?

I have read countless E-Books lately too.  I am also reading two other paper back books but I will save those to share with you another day.  How are YOU doing on your reading lists?  I hope you are reading some!






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May 29, 2016

Some People Come In & Out of Your Life

It has been a tough week or so.  I have said good bye to dear people.  

One in particular taught me to look within for my self worth.  This person taught me how to laugh again after I was pretty sure I had forgotten.  They taught me to smile and to look at myself with kinder eyes.  They taught me to be true to myself and keep my chin up no matter what was thrown at me.  I will be forever grateful for all of that.  


Having said all of that, I no longer will take people just for their word.  Not that I need gifts (however if you would like to send me flowers or chocolates they will not be turned away ☺) but I need to see actions.  If you are a go getter, let me see it.  Have you changed?  Prove it.  Wanta be in my life?  Show me.

Things have been crazy busy for me.  No, no real news in the idea of my divorce, but I guess it will happen when it is supposed to.  I hope and pray it is in my lifetime (yes that would be lovely).  


I have been getting inky again.  Ahhh yes, my true passion.

I have also been writing more in my book.  I have befriended the awesome Regan Black --such an amazing writer.  Anyways she does these AMAZING Periscopes every morning talking about different tips and how to get past writer's block and all that.  It has been amazing.  I think I am around 11,000 words.  I am sure that about 6,000 of those will be deleted but hey--I like the big numbers right now.  :)  I am so excited to be writing.  I had no idea that this story was hidden within me.  It has truly been a lot of fun to live out.

....She waited for him to call.  She waited for some sign that he was just as upset as she was. However, deep in her gut, she knew that the phone was not going to ring.  She realized that this truly was the end and that she needed to pick up the pieces of her heart and move on.  

She was not so much upset that she was left alone, but rather that she had invested so heavily in the dream.  She had believed so intensely that they could prove to the world that their love was stronger than the statistics; the ones that had told them that they were fighting a losing battle.  She felt a fool for believing they could rise above the odds.  After all, who did she think she was? She was no princess and her life was certainly no fairy tale....

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May 22, 2016

Life is GOOD

I love the debates that have come up from my recent post.  Watching life long friends walk away has also been enlightening.  Almost comical.

 I am in no way defending myself or my beliefs but I strongly believe I need to clarify a couple of things. First, I believe in the Bible.  I never once said that I did not.  I believe that God is the creator of all.  He is the alpha and omega.  When I say that God is everything I simply mean he is in EVERYTHING that is in the world.  If he is in my work, my personal life, my family's life and everything I do, then is He not everything?

I believe in LOVE.  No judgement.  You can believe whatever you believe it is NOT my job to convert you.  It is also not my job to decide that what you believe is right or wrong.  I simply am sharing with you how I feel.  God is good, All the time.

I have been soooo busy this week!  I cannot even begin to tell you the great things that are happening with me.  However I can tell you that my new outlook on life and how I am conducting myself has moved mountains.  


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May 18, 2016

Insight NOT Eyesite

You'd better getchya a cuppa coffee and pull up a chair.  This post is gonna be a bit winded.  This past weekend I was blessed to be able to attend a Celebrate Your Life conference.  It was PHENOMENAL!!  

Now.  This is where I might lose some of my dearly beloved friends.  This is where I might offend some of you.  I only hope that you will stay with me until I am finished with this post.  However if not, that is ok too.  


I grew up not associating with church and organized religion of any kind.  Many of my friends were mormons and I attended many of their social activities.  I enjoyed myself but again, I never went there on a Spiritual level.  Church was always SOCIAL.  Then when I moved to the South.  The Bible Belt.  I was quickly taught that Jesus was our savior, that I now had this book that was full of rules that I needed to follow.  I was taught who was acceptable as people and what was acceptable of those accepted people.  I was taught "right from wrong" and I was taught that I was better than everyone because I was a "Christian".  It was those same beliefs that taught me to have a melt down when my darling child came out to me that she was lesbian.  It was those same thoughts that told me to tell family members that I adored, that because of their actions they were simply going to hell.  

I have seen memes all over social media telling me that if your religion tells you to hate someone -- that is NOT God.  I never really grasped this, until now.

Since stepping away from the church and essentially resenting organized religion I have been floundering.  Never ONCE has my faith in God faltered, but many other aspects of my Christian faith have.  I have awakened knowing that I should be studying my scriptures and going to church, but since I was angry, I'd neglect it, which of course has lead to more bad feelings.  

People, God is not like that.  God's rules are sooooooooooooo simple.  Love.  Love yourself.  Love others.  Love the trials and tribulations.  Simply Love.  No words to tell me I am doing something wrong.  No words to tell me that I am better than someone else simply because they are different from me.  However the biggest one that I am learning is to love myself.  ME.  Love ME.  I am worthy.  If I don't love me, forget it, ain't no one else getting in the gate.  The Bible is full of Christian stories.  In no way am I saying that the Bible is false, I am simply saying it is no longer my shelter.  My shelter is in God.  God alone.  I do not need to feel the guilt of not studying, I do not need a church to tell me that I am better than someone else because I was there.  Will I attend church again, oh of course I will...however my views will be completely different.

God's already done all He is going to do, except for what he does through you and I.  So it is up to us to send love out and broaden our love.

What is really really remarkable is that I had a bit of business to handle with my almost-ex this morning and it was peaceful.  I wasn't trying to figure out his hidden agenda or get one up on him.  It was simply an exchange of information that ended with "Have a great day"---I gotta admit a few weeks ago my little mind would so have twisted that 4 word sentence and wondered what THAT was supposed to mean.  I am still angry and upset with the events that have happened.  I still feel like I was definitely wronged and that I did wrong as well, but that is NOT who I am. My past does NOT define me and I have to stop with that.  What I have perceived to have happened, may or may not have.  It doesn't matter, it is not who I am.

Did you know that the average person only sees 4% of what is actually happening??  That means that 96% we do not see.  Is that not astonishing???  We are soooo small in the realm of our world.  We are basing our opinions on 4% of the entire picture.  4% of who we are as individuals.  I don't know about you--but I am greater than 4%.  I know that God and the world has more for me than 4%!!!

Everything is God, God is everything.  Really look at that sentence.  If God is love and everything is God, doesn't that mean that everything is love?  If we emit love then we will get love.  If we emit gratefulness then we will receive more things to be grateful for.  Have you ever had a bad day and it seems like there is just one thing that happens after another.  From hitting your head on a cabinet to dropping your favorite earring down the sink.  Then you get in your car and just can't seem to catch a break in the rush hour traffic.  Your boss seems to be in a particular nit picky mood and then you get to go home and face all of the trials of making your darling family happy as well.  All day you have cussed, and yelled and had thoughts of anguish.  All day you have been miserable...so all day you have attracted misery.  You contracted a virus of the mind and slowly it infected every aspect of your day.  All thoughts are not equal, so be very careful of which ones you allow to take up real estate in your mind.  Of course everyone has bad days.  I am certainly guilty.  However it is up to us to stop the insanity and take control of them.  Remember that we are NOT our mind.  We HAVE a mind.  We are NOT our thoughts.  We have thoughts.  No thing can take away from us because the universe is abundant.  What God wants us to have is already there we just need to ask for it.

HELP > Hello Eternal Loving Presence

Once we ask for help are we receptive of it?  Can I really commit to feeling good about myself?  Can I commit to celebrating myself?

I know that I have a huge upper limit problem. A glass ceiling that keeps me at a certain level.  Not too much success.  Not too much love.  Not too much happiness.  My entire life has shaped and molded how high (or low rather) that ceiling can be.  So of course when I start hitting my head on this ceiling I self-sabotage.  Beating myself back down, blowing up my relationships, procrastinating and ignoring my work, being mean to my physical body.  I KNOW that I am great, but my mind is programmed to stop that from getting out of hand.  So feeling good about ourselves takes commitment.  Breaking thru the limitations of that will take time and dedication.  Remember tho that this glass ceiling is a perception.  Remember the 4%?  You are soooo much bigger than that!

Our conscience is so much bigger than our physical beings.  Our identity limits us.  We are worthy of amazing things, we simply just have to embrace them and not settle into our own percepted personas.  If you squeeze an orange, you will get orange juice.  It doesn't matter if you squeeze it or if I squeeze it or if we run over it with a car, it will still only give us orange juice.  So it is our job to insure that we, like the orange are sure of our inner self and are full of love.  We are only capable of focusing on one thing.  Make that one thing love.  Reduce the noise of fear and self doubt.  Always always always remember that you are a spiritual being having a human experience.  If we just pay attention, the miracles are all around us.  We must stop talking about great things and DO great things.  I want to see the people making changes in the world, not quoting scriptures about how to do it.  Let me see you.  I want to BE a doer as well.  I want people to go towards God because they see me living with faith, not because I have TOLD them about it.  However in that same sentence it is not a DO DO DO thing, it is a BE thing.  I want to BE more loving.  I want to BE more helpful.  I want to BE more empowering to others.

When you look into the eyes of another you can simply focus on nothing but their beauty.  You can focus on NOTHING but emitting love and compassion to that person.  However when we look in the mirror, how often do we see that our eyebrows need tweezed or that it is time to schedule a teeth cleaning or that we need to add a few more hours of sleep to our routine?  How often do we look at the beauty within our soul?  I know that I dont EVER!  We must remember that we are each love.  We need to start with SELF LOVE.

We are a headline culture.  People don't want in depth perceptions.  They simply want little bits.  The world wants you to dislike yourself.   If you have a body that you are not happy with, that is a problem and of course if you have a problem then someone can sell you something to fix that problem.  How strange would it be if we all practiced self love.  How strange would it be if we were simply content with ourselves?  The invisible prison that we live in would simply lose its grasp on us.  I mean face it, if we didn't have "problems" we wouldn't have a need for all these products and without that need many businesses simply close up shop.  We have fear that is embedded in us. 

A baby is not born with fear.  They are born with needs.  They demand that their needs are met.  However as those same babies age they are taught that the world does not actually revolve around them.  Their successes and needs are NOT all that matter in the world.  Why not?  Why is it that celebrating ourselves is looked poorly upon?  One of the biggest things I want to work on is to be truthful to myself.  I am going to be who I am.  People will either adjust or they will move on.  Period.  End of story.  No longer will I be made to feel less of myself.  I have amazing talents and I am going to embrace them---I have beliefs  and I am going to embrace them---I have love and I am going to embrace it.  Disagree with any of those that is okay, you can leave my life.  One thing I have expressed so deeply to my friends and to my kids, is never ever settle.  So why do I do it so much?  Hmmm....food for thought.  However, NO ONE learns without getting it wrong.

Another speaker made the brilliant comment that our society has taught us that being sad is wrong.  We all have traumatic happenings.  Our parents die, we get divorced, we lose friends or jobs or many other things...but society doesn't seem to want to wait for us to grieve.  I have been in the midst of a horrible divorce.  I have never allowed myself to be sad for that.  I would take offense if someone asked if I was depressed.  Me?  No!  I am stronger than depression.  However yeah I do have moments that Im lost and sad about my past.    You know what though?  THAT IS OK!!!!!  Wow.  How freeing is it?  I know that I cant camp out there.  I cant dwell in the coulda, shoulda, wouldas, but allowing myself the freedom to hold memories and reminisce is so empowering!  We need to give ourselves permission to feel the entire emotional processes.  

Falling down is an equal opportunity employer.  Tragedies don't care who you are.  They happen.  Fall downs teach us to let go and surrender.  But God is Intentional.  Everything is working for the greater good for you.  So if everything happens for a reason why then do we get so wrapped up in the negativity?  We must remember that our eyes will adjust to whatever level we set our sites on.  There is prey and predators within each of us.  I don't know about you---but I am sick of being victim to society, to myself and to that which is happening around me.  I am NOT a victim.  I am NOT the things that have happened to me.  I am NOT the bad decisions I have made in the past.  I am love.  I love my almost-ex.  Sure I am not so thrilled with some things he has done, but you know what--they made me who I am.  We had some magnificent times together as well.  My childhood was crazy at times, again no resentment, only love. 

The amount of peace that came over me in these two days was insurmountable. For the first time in months I was able to let go of the guilt.  I was able to just be happy within myself.  

So at this conference I had the pleasure of hearing:  Michael Beckwith & Rickie BB , Gay Hendricks , Jean Houston , Bryant McGill , Marianne Williamson , Anita Moorjani , Sunny Dawn Johnston , and Iyanla Vanzant .  I took over 30 pages of notes.  I wish so much that I could convey how much knowledge each person had.  Each and every single one of them brought something to the table but all had the same message:

  God is everything, everything is God.  

You CANNOT fail.  God is working for your goodness and if He
is in everything you do, then there is no failure.

So I have a new outlook on life, on my faith and on who I want to be.  My prayer is to ask for help each and every day.  To lean on God, not on words.  My prayer is to BE love.  I want to embrace the fall downs and cling to up swings!  I want to empower others with nothing more than LOVE.  Simple love.

I had a good visit with my mom in Houston.  I got to go to iFly (Skydiving flight simulator) and it was sooooo much fun!!  I cannot wait to do it for real some day!!  It was a whirlwind trip, but it was so awesome to break away from here.


So here we are a CARD~ hahahaha.  I did get to play with mom's toys while there.  It felt good to get inky again.  Hoping to do it more and more!



Anyways---Ya all...go.  Go right now and live the best life you can.  Live with love and peace and embrace the abundance that is out there just waiting for you to ask.


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May 4, 2016

Reduce the Noise




So heres another mojo!  




I hope that you too are doing well.  I hope that you are finding clarity in your own lives.  Enjoy!
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May 3, 2016

Busy Busy Busy

Holy heck batman where does the time go?  It seems like the days are all rolling into one.  I am always busy but I am not quite sure doing what.  CrAzY!!

We of course still have legal stuff that happens almost all the time.  Court dates and meeting with lawyers used to scare the bajeezus out of me.  Sad that they are just normal parts of our routine now.  Hopefully some day this will all be over. :)


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Apr 10, 2016

Friends

Mojo 421.  Friends.  I love these colors. 




  • Something I miss:  I miss my childhood.  All the great people in it. 
  • Four weird traits that I have? 1. I have an obsessive sweet tooth.  I ♥ candy (& cake).  2.  I hum (a lot) 3. Clutter drives me bonkers, but I am not a neat freak.  4.  I interrupt (bad habit)
  • Four things I'd say to an ex:  *ahem* clears throat ... Nicely?  1.  I am not as awful as you say I am. 2. I am going to be ok no matter what 3.  I hope you learn from your mistakes, cause I am pretty sure your next wife won't be as forgiving.  4.  Thank you for all the memories, theyve made me who I am today.  
  • What I wore today: Tan capris, black sandals, black tshirt
  • Word or phrase do I say constantly?  Ummm... damn a duck. Mother heifer, how is every little thing? and Take care of you.  Awesome.
  • My 21st Birthday.  I remember going out and partying in Nashville.  That's it, that is all I remember.
  • One thing I am excited for.  Kinda general, but my future.  If it will ever just come on!
Yay!  I finished!  Now you know a bunch of random hoodalolly about me that you didnt know you needed to know.  

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Apr 9, 2016

Smile with Stickles!

More Mojo Fun.  It is simple but again I really love the colors.





  • Bullet my entire day.  Ummm this is kinda boring but here we go, here is yesterday's day: ♦ wake up ♦ take meds ♦ go pee ♦ brush teeth ♦ start coffee ♦ shower ♦ get dressed ♦ do hair and make up ♦ get coffee ♦ make & eat an egg ♦ moved stuff into new purse I got ♦ worked on computer for about 4 hours ♦ talked to friend while working ♦ let the cats in and out at least 15 times ♦ Talked with client ♦ made & ate lunch with Hannah ♦ worked for another 2-3 hours ♦ Texted mom about stuff in May ♦ Went to hardware store to get stuff Hannah needed for school project ♦ Went to Starbucks and chatted with Hannah, enjoyed time ♦ Back home to make & eat dinner ♦ Took Hannah to meet her dad ♦ Stopped by the store on my way home ♦ Cleaned up kitchen ♦ More work on the computer ♦ Talked with a friend regarding plans for Saturday night ♦ Watched SuperNatural ♦ Talked with another friend on phone ♦ Watched more SuperNatural and fell asleep in there somewhere.  Yeah boring.  :)  However I kinda like it that way.  
  • A quote I try to live by:  Ummm This too shall pass?  Be the rainbow in someone's cloud.
  • Favorite color.  I love purple but I especially like pink with sparkles.  I love purple cause it can be soft and flowing or deep and rich.  And pink with sparkles is my total personality!
  • Five fears that I have.  1. Insecurity (financially, emotionally, physically...) 2. Snakes 3. Drowning 4. People not liking me 5. Losing use of my hands
  • 3 random songs on my playlist.  Budapest, George Ezra (Ohhh I like that song) Pencil Thin Mustache, Jimmy Buffet & Give it Away, George Strait   What do I think about them?  I love them all.  :)  Duh, they are on my playlist.
  • My Zodiac sign is Scorpio.  Yeah I think it is pretty fitting, however I don't think I am as big of a witch as it says and there's no way I like sex as much as they say either.  Jus sayin
  • Morning routine: havent I already said this like 3 times?
  • Family member  I dislike.  Hmmmm....Probably the closest one to this is Ron (my almost ex).  
OK we'll save the rest for tomorrow.  I have bored ya all enough today.


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Apr 8, 2016

More Random


  • Someone who fascinates me.  I guess Trace Adkins.  He was shot by his wife, nearly died, served in the military, has written a book, of course is incredibly good looking and just an all around good guy.  I love seeing what he does next.
  • I have one tattoo.  It is a cat looking away.  Just a silhouette.  It is a symbol that I can do anything that I want to.  I am free to make my own choices.
  • My favorite book ever is probably THE MARK OF A LION (trilogy) it was such an awesome story of love.  The only real book I ever remember hating was The Stand by Stephen King.  I read it all the way through and hated the ending.  Never read another Stephen King book again.  I am however into book 2 of The Dark Tower series now.
  • Ageism.  Well considering I had to look up what it means, my view on it is that I don't have a view.  I don't think people should be limited by their age, however certain things require a certain age.  No offence but if I walked into a tanning salon to see an old man in a wheel chair with skin cancer spots all over himself, I don't think it would be as great of a sale as the typical beach bunny young chickadees give.
  • Bananas is the biggest fruit I dislike.  Just yick.  Not a fan.  The taste I guess.
  • Relationship status:  Nothing.  I am not single and I am definitely not still married.  I don't want to say separated cause that kind of means that there is a chance of togetherness again...and uh no.  So almost divorced?
  • 2 words or phrases that make me laugh.  Wonder Dontit.  A friend and I coined this phrase many years ago.  I dunno, makes ya wonder dont it?  And ummmm... I dunno on another.
  • My commute to and from work.  Ohhhh a tough one.  LOL.  I get up, go pee, take my meds, start the coffee, shower, get dressed, make up etc., walk 10 more steps and I am at my office, coffee in hand. 
  • My life in 7 years.  I hope to be remarried by then (of course knowing my luck we will still be in divorce battles...mwahahahaha) ummmm probly have a few grandbabies by then.  Living in the woods, enjoying life.  Traveling, seeing things and experiencing life.  The only thing I can guarantee is that I WILL BE happy!
  • Three pet peeves.  1. People who have poor grammar.  I am not talking about geographical changes.  I mean like saying I have a dog for sell.  Or let me ax you a question.  2. People mad at me and not telling me why.  UGH.  Tell me so I can defend myself or fix it!  3.  Mistreatment of animals.




So yeah, there is more of that.  Things are good here.  I planted my herbs again.  I also planted a couple of veggie plants. We of course have to keep mobile so I can't do a lot.  But it made me feel better doing a little bit.

Here is #281.


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Apr 7, 2016

Random

We all know I don't do so well with committing to do things for a whole month but I got this writing challenge from one of my writing groups.  I thought it'd be fun to follow this though.

  • Five things wrong with social media:  1. It has made us stupid.  No one researches, no one verifies anything.  If Facebook said it, then by all means it is right! 2. Bullying is blown up beyond anything in a matter of minutes.  People can feel like the world hates them in a matter of seconds.  3.  It is a time stealer, robbing us all of minutes.  4.  It can give people false profiles.  A lot of people look NOTHING like their photos.  5.  Opens one up for identity theft.
  • My earliest memory.  I remember barely walking.  Making a fort underneath my grandma's piano bench.  I remember the orange, green & red shag carpet.
  • My first love and first kiss.  I remember 2nd grade.  Chasing Ben Bonner around the play ground.  I do not remember why or really anything else about him, but I knew I loved him!  *LOL*  I remember my first kiss wasn't til middle school. 
  • 10 things about me.  1.  I want to be cremated.  2.  I have a hard time with anything being made out of the flag.  Clothing with flags on them are great, but not red and white striped with blue and white stars.  3.  Though I cuss like a sailor there are a few that you will never hear come out of my mouth.  4.  I hate the words:  Impregnated, Penetrated, Naughty and Tinkle.  I have no idea why, but I do.  5.  I had Lasik eye surgery in '99 because I was legally blind.  I'd do it again in a heart beat if needed.  6.  Im not a fan of bananas. 7.  I learn by seeing.  I am not so good at following written directions.  8.  I have never lived alone in my life (I am ok with this).  9.  I got my driver's license when I was 14.  I learned to drive on a manual.  10.  I can cook almost ANYTHING on an open fire.  
  • Name a place you'd live but have never been.  I think I am going to have to say Montana here.  I think I went there as a young kid, but I do not remember much about it.  I hope to get there someday.
OK so there you have it a few useless bits of info.  Now on to MOJO428  



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Apr 6, 2016

Firsts and Lasts

You know I have been so excited about my future.  I have been thinking about the new places, the new adventures.  However, a couple of weeks ago, as I was on my way back into town after doing some work for a client in Fayetteville.  I was quickly reminded of the the beauty that we already have.  As I came up over the hill and started down into Nashville, the skyline took my breath away.  I have spent more than half my life in and out of Tennessee.  On May 15, 1993 I pulled in to Nashville with stars in my eyes.  No, I didn't ever once wish to be one of the celebrities.  I just had the desire to meet them and mingle with them.  


I had so many firsts here.  Before the Batman building was here, long before the conference center was built, before the stadiums were packed with fans, back when 2nd Avenue was just starting to rebuild, before all of the big things, I was star struck.  I saw my first prostitute here.  I know, not a big deal to most, but since it is a bit chilly in Jackson, ya just didn't see them on the corners there.  I saw my first concert, I went to the CMA's, I met star after star.  I even worked for Barbara Mandrell Country.  I met song writers, I met stars, I met those that wanted to be and those that could never be.  I knew Faith before she and Tim McGraw were a thing. I spent summers on Old Hickory Lake at the Yacht club, playing in the water and fishing while my father in-law's boat was docked next to Eddie Arnold's.  I visited Opryland when it was theme park and not a mall.  I was blessed with meeting Baxter Black in person and sharing countless meals with him.  He has many friends in Jackson, so it was always nice to reminisce about that area.  Harland Howard, Ronnie Rogers, and Ed Bruce are just a few of the countless people I got to see.  There are far too many that I couldn't even possibly begin to name, but the memories are forever etched in my heart.  I have lived a charmed life.  I was lucky enough to come to Tennessee to live exactly the life I wanted to.  I thank my husband and his family for that.  

This past weekend Hannah and I went to Elliston Place Soda Fountain.  It was fun to sit at the bar and watch them make the treats.


It looks like we will spend another summer here in the Tennessee Valley, I am really actually very excited.  I hope to be able to take in the beauty both in the city and all around us.  Maybe we can go take in some ball games, a concert or hockey game?  Who knows--but you can bet we will have some fun!  

Mojo 246.  Simple and fun huh?


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Apr 5, 2016

Things Happen

Well so much for that month of posts huh?  What is really crazy is that I really do have a month's worth of sketches to share with you.  Life just got the best of me and I didn't get much blogging done.

I am doing good though!!  Life has been good.  But first things first.  Here is MOJO MONDAY #429  Fun colors arent they?  They make me smile.  I love spring time.  I love all of the bright colors and the flowers everywhere.  Nevermind the fact that I have to drug up every morning just to face the allergies.  



So we did get to go fishing a couple of weeks ago.  Unfortunately the pond was crazy covered with moss.  We didn't catch anything.  It was fun to be outside though and Hannah and I got to talk a bit.  Love that kid.  I know eventually we will live in a house again.  We will not be together 24/7 and we won't know each other's complete ins and outs.  For now tho, I am really enjoying it.  Scary tho--she definitely is a mini me.  

I have been writing some.  Unfortunately I have just rearranged all the words I started with rather than adding more.  :)  I feel like I finally have a direction tho. I have a voice behind the main character and I have her personality mapped out. 

 I have also been chatting with a friend who is writing a memoir of Jackson.  It has been so much fun reminiscing about all the places that we used to hang out.  All of things that we did as kids. Stories that can be told hundreds of times, but unless you were there, you never quite understand.  It is only now that I am grown and moved away that I can really appreciate my childhood.  Jackson, WY was little more than a 2 horse town when I was growing up.  The crime was very low and people just lived simply.  Nothing like what it is there today.  That song by Lady Antibellum, American Honey - reminds me of my childhood.  "She grew up good, she grew up slow" -- I just love that.  That's something that my kids have yet to experience, though I am certainly trying to get there as fast as I can.  Hopefully Hannah will still get some of that American Honey before she is off to her own life.

I have been talking and talking and talking about making changes to your life.  If you are not happy, then change it.  Unfortunately though, life isn't always conducive to big changes.  I am learning this the hard way.  I have been so unsettled and angry that things were not progressing in this divorce as I'd like.  In other words SLOOOOWLY.  But I have to tell you -as I gather pieces of the bigger picture I am finding more and more joy in the present.


I am by NO MEANS saying that divorce is the answer to everything.  I am not saying that God condones it.  I am not saying we should just throw away our marriages when they get tough.  However I have had a really hard time letting go and moving on.  My marriage is over.  That has NEVER been a question in my mind, but I desperately wanted to remain friends with Ron.  It wasn't until this past week that I learned that just is NOT possible.  We can be cordial.  We can be friendly, but we cannot be friends.  I seriously had hope.  It hurt my feelings at first.  But I just love this meme, because it makes it all neat and tidy.  A description of reality that I can accept.  One that I can smile with and accept my level up with pride.  His reasoning for not being friends is totally different from mine.  His reasons for the divorce are totally different than mine.  His goals and outlooks on life are totally different than mine.  His opinion of "change" is totally different than mine.  This is totally OKAY though.  Do you know how FREEING this is?  We no longer have to try to make our differences coincide. He can live in his reality and I can live in mine not really caring what the other's is.  Life just got a whole lot better!!

Remember:

 We are a product of our choices, not victims of our circumstances.  

My life is abundantly blessed. I am not thrilled with all of its events, I am thrilled with who I am and more so who I am becoming.    



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