Well so much for that month of posts huh? What is really crazy is that I really do have a month's worth of sketches to share with you. Life just got the best of me and I didn't get much blogging done.
I am doing good though!! Life has been good. But first things first. Here is MOJO MONDAY #429 Fun colors arent they? They make me smile. I love spring time. I love all of the bright colors and the flowers everywhere. Nevermind the fact that I have to drug up every morning just to face the allergies.
So we did get to go fishing a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately the pond was crazy covered with moss. We didn't catch anything. It was fun to be outside though and Hannah and I got to talk a bit. Love that kid. I know eventually we will live in a house again. We will not be together 24/7 and we won't know each other's complete ins and outs. For now tho, I am really enjoying it. Scary tho--she definitely is a mini me.
I have been writing some. Unfortunately I have just rearranged all the words I started with rather than adding more. :) I feel like I finally have a direction tho. I have a voice behind the main character and I have her personality mapped out.
I have also been chatting with a friend who is writing a memoir of Jackson. It has been so much fun reminiscing about all the places that we used to hang out. All of things that we did as kids. Stories that can be told hundreds of times, but unless you were there, you never quite understand. It is only now that I am grown and moved away that I can really appreciate my childhood. Jackson, WY was little more than a 2 horse town when I was growing up. The crime was very low and people just lived simply. Nothing like what it is there today. That song by Lady Antibellum, American Honey - reminds me of my childhood. "She grew up good, she grew up slow" -- I just love that. That's something that my kids have yet to experience, though I am certainly trying to get there as fast as I can. Hopefully Hannah will still get some of that American Honey before she is off to her own life.
I have been talking and talking and talking about making changes to your life. If you are not happy, then change it. Unfortunately though, life isn't always conducive to big changes. I am learning this the hard way. I have been so unsettled and angry that things were not progressing in this divorce as I'd like. In other words SLOOOOWLY. But I have to tell you -as I gather pieces of the bigger picture I am finding more and more joy in the present.
I am by NO MEANS saying that divorce is the answer to everything. I am not saying that God condones it. I am not saying we should just throw away our marriages when they get tough. However I have had a really hard time letting go and moving on. My marriage is over. That has NEVER been a question in my mind, but I desperately wanted to remain friends with Ron. It wasn't until this past week that I learned that just is NOT possible. We can be cordial. We can be friendly, but we cannot be friends. I seriously had hope. It hurt my feelings at first. But I just love this meme, because it makes it all neat and tidy. A description of reality that I can accept. One that I can smile with and accept my level up with pride. His reasoning for not being friends is totally different from mine. His reasons for the divorce are totally different than mine. His goals and outlooks on life are totally different than mine. His opinion of "change" is totally different than mine. This is totally OKAY though. Do you know how FREEING this is? We no longer have to try to make our differences coincide. He can live in his reality and I can live in mine not really caring what the other's is. Life just got a whole lot better!!
We are a product of our choices, not victims of our circumstances.
My life is abundantly blessed. I am not thrilled with all of its events, I am thrilled with who I am and more so who I am becoming.